The I Society

One of the things that really bothers me these days is we are in an “I” society. Lately I have seen a lot of it in my business life and my personal life. It is something I try hard not to do with people. That is to make sure my relationships are mutual.

One of the problems about the “I” society is it is all about the person who wants help. They never offer to help you in return and even worse they borrow equipment and then expect you to come get it to pick it up. The proper way is to return the equipment and offer to help in return. These type of people do not get it. They claim they are always busy. They will even say things like “Why do you run around for everyone” but when you stop running around for them they really get upset with you. This is not a good thing at all.

How to eliminate the “I” society is business and your personal life is to give back to those who help you. This is the key and this also includes giving back to the community that you live in. Do not make it all about you.

As the House League Director for a lacrosse league I see it all the time. Parents want the best for their children but when you ask them to help, they tell you that they are way too busy. This is not a good good thing at all. Do these parents not realize without volunteers, amateur sports organizations will not exist.  They do not want to give their time but they want the  best. It is frustrating and actually causes many people to get out of amateur sports. I am actually going to to get out of lacrosse because I am tired of the I mentality. I have given an average of 30 hours a week and people do not really understand. They think it’s easy and not hard to do. After doing this for 7 years, it has worn thing. The sad part is if the I mentality disappeared, I would  be continuing on after this year.

Remember relationships take a lot of work. It does not matter if they are personal, business, for your kids or even amateur sports. The I mentality in relationships does not work out well at all. It does not help to foster relationships. It actually strains them. Think about it. Do you want to build relationships or do you want to be all by yourself in life. The choice is yours.

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I know the feeling and I must admit and apologize that I tend to be like this selfish person sometimes. There comes a point in every man's life when we just get sick of others that's when we regress to looking at the "I" for solutions. One thing I've learned is that there can be no I if there are no others. We are all interconnected, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant.


We live in a new world now and we tend to overlook it. Consider this, in the 1990s very few people can converse with each other as we are doing now. Before twitter and facebook, friends were people who are your next door neighbors. Now they could be anywhere.



4JeffBrown 1 Like

Well said Rob. It should be the "Us" or "We" society and not the "I" society. Talk soon.

Robcairns moderator 1 Like

 @4JeffBrown Thank you Jeff. Same as sports I always say that their is no I in the word team:)


You are so right Rob!

And the worst of it is over time it becomes too easy to find yourself slipping into the I's way of being, if only because you get worn down trying to be 'you' or we' or 'them' focused when no-one else is.


Or as in your case, something that you otherwise really enjoyed and benefited others loses out when you can't carry on any longer. I'm not good at Latin, but I try to hold on to the saying that goes something like 'Nils illegitimo carbarundum' - Don't let the ***** get you down!


Robcairns moderator

 @lindaw I am not down - was just an observation. I think how you combat the I society is by boundaries and clear goals and objectives.